Community #PartyTimeAlternanthera

PartyTimeAlternanthera

















@Kimtownsend686 avatar @Kimtownsend686 · 2Y
I posted this series of pictures of my party-time plant (before and after watering) on FB last night: Pic 1: 9:58p, before water Pic 2: 10:02p, about 3 minutes after watering Pic 3: 10:28p, update Pic 4 and 5: 10:53p, this is it because I’m going to bed but he was fun to watch! After I posted it, I had a realization. It’s a pretty good visual representation of my mental health. I know I posted a little bit about it a few weeks ago, and I think I’m ready to open up a little more. I apologize in advance if this gets boring or starts to ramble, I don’t like to talk about this a lot. I’ve always struggled with anxiety and depression, even as a child before I knew what it was. When we moved back to my home state just over 2 years ago, I think it was a major trigger. I went into a bad phase of depression that just never went away. I’m not sure how to explain it- I always have depression/anxiety, but there are periods of weeks or months where it’s worse, I call it a “funk” to try and lighten it up but it’s really not just a funk. So anyway I haven’t had any “better” periods in over two years. Then about a year ago, it got even worse. For some reason every few weeks, I started feeling like everyone would be better off without me. I could do nothing right for myself. I felt like driving away and disappearing because everyone would be better off in the long run. It was scaring me because in the past, no matter how bad my depression gets I know my kids and husband loves me and that made it worth it. But this one week out of the month… I just couldn’t get past it. I joined BetterHelp for a few months back in July to try and figure out what’s going on. My therapist said she would diagnose me as having major depressive disorder with recurrence, PMDD (premenstrual dysphoria disorder, which explained the week of feeling absolutely hopeless and worthless every month), as well as ADHD. She recommended I see someone in person who could potentially prescribe medication because talk therapy wasn’t working. I didn’t even make an appointment for almost two months. It seemed too much to look up doctors, set up an appointment, leave the house except for work, have to TALK about childhood trauma, etc. I mean… I could barely even get out of bed or shower, much less anything like this. 😳 My grandmother asked if she could help make the appointment for me and I said yes. My husband had already looked up doctors and was trying to encourage me but for some reason, I just couldn’t do it. My grandmother is more direct than my husband is, so she was like “If you’re not going do it, I will. Is that ok?” 😂 And she did. She got on speakerphone and called them for me while I was there 🥹 I’m sure it seems silly but that meant a lot. I don’t think I would’ve made the appointment on my own. I really don’t. On the 9th of January I went for my first appointment (psych eval). This doctor gave the same diagnosis, and prescribed an antidepressant, as well as recommending cognitive behavioral therapy (I think is what it’s called, I haven’t started that yet). I started Prozac the following day. It helped some almost immediately, but the past 2 or 3 days I’ve actually started to feel almost normal again! I’m not self-medicating with THC as much as I was, my anxiety is way down, and I’m EATING some. I dropped down to 119 on the day of my appointment (healthy me is about 135) because I could only nibble some bread every couple of days. Right now I’m able to a couple snacks throughout the day and have even eaten two full meals, which is huge for me. So here’s the updated captions for Leafonardo DiCaprio as they pertain to my situation 😆💚🪴: Pic 1: me day of appointment/ evaluation Pic 2: first day of taking anti-depressant Pic 3: Week one of taking anti-depressant Pics 4&5: Week 2 going into week 3 of anti-depressant 😂 I still have A LOT of therapy and a long way to go, but it’s a good start. Thank you all here for being supportive, welcoming and friendly. Greg has been sort an escape for me and I’m so grateful to be here 💚 I hope everyone is having a great Saturday so far #GreggersSupportingGreggers #PartyTimeAlternanthera