Setting boundaries with needy friends
#GreggersSupportingGreggers
Theme: Boundaries
About 10 years ago I had a close friend, but a friend who was very needy. It wasn’t unusual for her to call me two, three, or even four times a day. I tried everything I could to get her to respect the fact that I did not want all those calls. It was too much. I told her that she could call me only one time each day. But, she wouldn’t respect that. She continued to call constantly. At the time I was at the lowest place in my entire life. Ultimately I ended up hospitalized three times before I got better. I explained how very important it was to respect my needs. I was in a bad way. I needed her to help me by respecting my limits. She became angry and posted a diatribe against me on Facebook. I had to cut this person out of my life. It hurt a lot to do that, but I had to do it. She could not respect my needs and my situation. She knew that I was dangerously depressed, but she could only think of herself.
It’s hard to set up boundaries with people, and sometimes there are people you might lose in your life. People may resent you standing up for yourself and demanding respect. But, it’s one of the most important things you can do to  create your best life.
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“No" is a complete sentence.
-Annie Lamott
Evaluating the benefits and drawbacks of any relationship is your responsibility. You do not have to passively accept what is brought to you. You can choose.
-Deborah Day
Having healthy boundaries not only requires being able to say “no”, but also being willing and able to enforce that “no” when necessary.
-Jessica Moore
I’m not doing this to disrespect you. I’m doing this to respect myself.
Nedra Glover Tawwab
You are allowed to have a voice.
You are allowed to walk away.
You are not the rescuer of every crisis.
You are allowed to disagree.
You do not need to defend yourself.
You do not need to explain every situation.
You do not need to give a reason.
You are allowed to have space.
-Andrea Anderson Polk
Respectful boundaries are needed so that we can look after ourselves and continue to give to others. After all, nobody can be expected to pour from an empty cup.
-Mungi Ngomane
#HappyPlants #PlantsMakePeopleHappy #PlantAddict #NewGrowth #PropagationStation #SucculentLove #PlantTherapy
Theme: Boundaries
About 10 years ago I had a close friend, but a friend who was very needy. It wasn’t unusual for her to call me two, three, or even four times a day. I tried everything I could to get her to respect the fact that I did not want all those calls. It was too much. I told her that she could call me only one time each day. But, she wouldn’t respect that. She continued to call constantly. At the time I was at the lowest place in my entire life. Ultimately I ended up hospitalized three times before I got better. I explained how very important it was to respect my needs. I was in a bad way. I needed her to help me by respecting my limits. She became angry and posted a diatribe against me on Facebook. I had to cut this person out of my life. It hurt a lot to do that, but I had to do it. She could not respect my needs and my situation. She knew that I was dangerously depressed, but she could only think of herself.
It’s hard to set up boundaries with people, and sometimes there are people you might lose in your life. People may resent you standing up for yourself and demanding respect. But, it’s one of the most important things you can do to  create your best life.
—————————————————————
“No" is a complete sentence.
-Annie Lamott
Evaluating the benefits and drawbacks of any relationship is your responsibility. You do not have to passively accept what is brought to you. You can choose.
-Deborah Day
Having healthy boundaries not only requires being able to say “no”, but also being willing and able to enforce that “no” when necessary.
-Jessica Moore
I’m not doing this to disrespect you. I’m doing this to respect myself.
Nedra Glover Tawwab
You are allowed to have a voice.
You are allowed to walk away.
You are not the rescuer of every crisis.
You are allowed to disagree.
You do not need to defend yourself.
You do not need to explain every situation.
You do not need to give a reason.
You are allowed to have space.
-Andrea Anderson Polk
Respectful boundaries are needed so that we can look after ourselves and continue to give to others. After all, nobody can be expected to pour from an empty cup.
-Mungi Ngomane
#HappyPlants #PlantsMakePeopleHappy #PlantAddict #NewGrowth #PropagationStation #SucculentLove #PlantTherapy
9
I am just really proud of you for who you are and where you’ve been.
Since Covid started I had to cut a few people out of my life too. I was constantly the giver and it wasn’t fair to me. But I had made the mistake of never pausing to think “What’s best for ME?” When I finally started counseling and learning to be my own friend, I realized these people were using me. And I was strong enough to walk away.
Since Covid started I had to cut a few people out of my life too. I was constantly the giver and it wasn’t fair to me. But I had made the mistake of never pausing to think “What’s best for ME?” When I finally started counseling and learning to be my own friend, I realized these people were using me. And I was strong enough to walk away.
I say “No” more than I say “Yes”. Before anyone finishes the question I know is because they are asking for some kind of favor, I say “No” and back it up with “I don’t have enough time left in my life to give so much to others that can clearly do things themselves.” Period.
If I want to give, I do it. However, I don’t feel obligated. I’m not one to play with my peace and tranquility. If I don’t volunteer, it’s a no from me.
People taught me that they can take from you without end, without consideration. I can’t tell you how awful I sound when I’m forced to repeat myself to clarify that I’ve set a boundary that they are trying to disrespect.
If I want to give, I do it. However, I don’t feel obligated. I’m not one to play with my peace and tranquility. If I don’t volunteer, it’s a no from me.
People taught me that they can take from you without end, without consideration. I can’t tell you how awful I sound when I’m forced to repeat myself to clarify that I’ve set a boundary that they are trying to disrespect.
@AnthuriumQueen I agree! And as the quote says, “No” is a complete sentence. It doesn’t require anything more. Not an apology. Not an explanation. Not an excuse. Not a lie. No more is necessary.
@TruthfulApricot yes thank you. I’m not good at this part. Guilt and shame take a while to unlearn!
Boundary setting can be hard but necessary. I’m sorry you had to go thru that