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Posted 1M ago by @Mixedvegetables

๐ŸŒตโœจ Meet Curie: not the smallest cactus in the collection,...

๐ŸŒตโœจ Meet Curie: not the smallest cactus in the collection, but absolutely the one with the most secrets. ๐Ÿ•ต๏ธโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ’‹ Named after Madame Curie for her brilliance and barely-contained chaos, sheโ€™s a succulent with a scientific mind and a flair for the forbidden. ๐Ÿงช๐Ÿ”ฅ

Once the centerpiece of a high-stakes succulent swap in Barcelona ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ, Curie was smuggled out under mysterious circumstances involving a disgraced botanist ๐Ÿงค, a mislabeled crate of heirloom tomatoes ๐Ÿ…, and a customs officer with a soft spot for cacti ๐ŸŒฟ๐Ÿ’ผ.

Sheโ€™s been banned from three conservatories ๐Ÿ›๏ธ for โ€œemitting chaotic energyโ€ โšก and allegedly seducing a rare lithops into blooming out of season ๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ˜ฑ. Her ceramic pot? Custom-fired in Tuscany ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น after she was caught impersonating a bonsai at a gala ๐ŸŽญ.

Now she reigns from her perch in my collection ๐Ÿ‘‘, whispering secrets to the other plants ๐Ÿซข๐ŸŒฑ and claiming she once dated a jade plant named Lorenzo ๐Ÿ’š who now refuses to photosynthesize in her presence โ˜€๏ธ๐Ÿšซ.
#CurieTheCactus #SucculentScandal #BotanicalBackstory #NotTheSmallestButTheSpiciest #PlantCollectionRoyalty #LeafyLiesAndLovers #PrickledAndProud
4โ€ pot with drainage
Last watered 1 week ago
@Mixedvegetables I love the narrative!! I was with her, every step of the way!! Thanks for sharing your creative prose!!